Some Freindly Dating Advice!

Boundaries.I never really had any boundaries when I first started dating.I never knew I was supposed to! No one ever told me.All you had to tell me is those three words and you were in!

Well, what a disaster that was.I soon realized that I was being used and abused.So after an abusive marraige and several failed marraiges I came to this conclusion.I have no boundaries.I allow these people to treat me however they want!

So one day I sat down and made a couple lists.The first list I put down everything that I let people to me that I allow.And not just men, everyone! Friends,neighbors,family and people in general.

Then I made a list of Boundaries.Rules of how I want to be treated.Rules that I will not break no matter what,There are no adjusting or lowering these boundaries.When we lower these we allow people to lift up there leg and cross right over them.So you need to set them up pretty high! Especially when you meet someone new.They will get a ladder if they have to.

So let me give you a little idea of what I am talking about.OK no one sat me down and gave me "The Talk".I learned the hard way.This is happening to women at younger and younger ages.So here it is:A date is not in a car! A date does not begin at midnight! A date is not "Hey you wanna hang out tonight?"

Dating is suppose to be a nice way to get to know each other.To spend time to learn each others boundaries(there's that word again);likes,dislikes,favorite foods,lifestyles,etc,etc.

We as woman need to set an example to all females.Watch an old black and white movie where a lady walks in a room,and the men all standup.Or they take off their hat.They always opened there car door.And sex was out of the picture until the honeymoon.Maybe our grandparents had something.People back then had long engagements.Well I think we need to make some news rules and start being a role model.

Another thing we need to remember is when we meet new people they are on there best behavior That's why dating is so important,We really need to take it slow.The best relationships are built on friendship.If someone really cares about you they will give you all the time you need.You are worth the wait.

I had a girlfriend once who would never ever leave her daughter alone with her boyfriend.Even just for a minute,I thought that was so weird!They had been living together for two years! Well long story short after they broke up she found out he had molested someone else's 13 year old daughter.Well, leaving her daughter alone with men was one of her boundaries she never compromised.Good thing huh?

I hope this article helps someone.Maybe your daughter or sister.We are ladies and I think we need to be treated as such.And parents need to give "the Talk" alot sooner.I was a pregnant teenager at 14 years old.The father denied my son.and still does.He is 31 years old now and he still does'nt claim him.I wish my mother would have told me that people will tell me anything to get what they want.I gave people the benefit of the doubt.I was wrong.You need to constantly teach your children about boundaries.As they grow up teach them good values and morals.Sit down with them and talk.Eat dinner at the table.Sit down with your daughter or freind or whoever and explain to them what boundaries are and why they should have them.Single Dads you have to do this.Don't be afraid to do this.And not just about relationships and sex.Don't forget about drugs,alcohol and peer pressure.They need to have the same boundaries with their bff's.Or they will be doing what their freinds are doing! I did! Did YOU? Don't forget what you did growing up.It is happening to kids now.Kids are drinking as soon as 8 or 9 now! So enough about that.I just want you to realize how important this is.

So ladies, sit down make yourself a list of your shortcomings first.Write down all things that you let people get by with.Even the little things.Take your time you do not have a deadline.Some of us have been letting climb over their wall for a long time.Your wall may not even exist.You need to start stacking some bricks.Remember it can't be a wall people can crawl right over it.Or they can quickly get you to take a few bricks off so they can get their way.This has to be unbreakable!

Now once you have discovered your shortcoming's you can then begin your boundary list.These are rules of how you let people treat you.When you are dating someone communicate with them.Let them know what you expect out of the relationship.Let them know what your boundaries are.If they do not respect them.They are not for you! Let them go! Remember you are a lady and deserve respect.

If you have a problem setting your boundaries.There are millions and millions of books,e-books,support groups,etc.that will help you do this.Please pass this down to other people in your life.Especially the younger generation.You may stop someone from making the worst mistake of their life.

Thank You For Reading! I hope this helps you or someone you love.

Author  Lisa E.   More